Thursday, April 6, 2017

Life and Suchlike

I



"Agnidev, I will extinguish the fire in you."

This statement achieved the following:

1) The high point of the Sociology Pass Paper-III class…

And that's about it. 

The class, weary of Agnidev's steadfast belief in being rewarded attendance, in spite of missing his roll call, compounded by having just suffered Srinivas’s insights on the Indian Caste System, considered it quite the high point; it refuted Agnidev's argument with a flourishing finality; too bad it did not work out for Agnidev.
Twenty amongst this weary class had the next one hour to nurse their weariness. It was college policy to have all the pass classes (electives for people who do not understand pass) in the second half, chronologically placed in descending order of the value attributed to them. Film Studies disparagingly placed in the 2:50 - 4:30 slot. 

So Room 15 erupted into chaos. The orderliness which, the teacher has so painstakingly achieved lay tragically frayed after the bell, making you ponder the ‘point’ of anything. Her quip about Agnidev had earned her my regard and I gave her authority due respect - I decided to not budge after the bell. It turned out to be counterproductive. People had already busied themselves in getting out to go places - Room 16 for the more important pass classes (given their time slot); the pavement opposite Classic Stores, for a most important cigarette; and CCD or the canteen, depending on their affluence during said period, for sustenance - and my immobility just added to the confusion.

I yielded. Others moved to their respective destinations. A set of people, seven of those twenty, who had the hour to nurse their weariness, set out towards the ‘Bank Steps’. ‘Bank Steps’ did not lead up to any bank; these were the steps behind the bank that the college housed – simply put it was an identity crisis. The 'bank steps' had various factors that recommended it: 

1) The steps were never used by anyone. Everyone used the ‘Main Staircase’, the ‘Main’ perhaps corresponded with their sense of self worth; nomenclature is important.
2) The bank counter closed at 1 P.M., which meant that the area would be people free.
3) The open archway guaranteed a cool breeze
And
4) Sitting there did not entail any expenditure 

The seven settled down. ‘The seven’ sounds significant, like a small council, though it was no such thing. They were a weird assortment of people who stood steadfast in the belief that Maggi cannot be cooked in two minutes and hailed from schools that have uniforms; television would have you convinced otherwise. One could call them friends, but they lacked the familiarity. They were brought together by their commitment to non-airconditioned air, a fierce dislike for the canteen food, and an unholy interest in Holden Caulfield. Well my reasons were different - they were sincerely scopophilic. You will meet them as the story progresses. For now it suffices to say that the incidents being narrated took place in 2006 AD. 

Settling down on the bank steps required much planning, strategic positioning of people, and undressing – attire worn to the college had to have a high ‘modesty quotient’, which people brought down, when they were away from the prying eyes of the morality keepers; shrugs were stripped open, sandals and socks take off, heels removed; and so everyone settled down. 

“My house is an existential crisis,” Aria declared. 

“Explain that,” said Adrita, her interest piqued. 

“That is just useless babble,” Anwesha interjected. 

On a completely different tangent, Pritha inquired, “Are we going to start The Indian New Wave, today?”
There was a chorus of incoherence and indecisiveness. Thereafter, Aria continued, “My house exists at the cusp between tradition and modernity. It is an old house, which has been renovated multiple times. Though, it still retains something of the old, its structure has changed.” She paused, something had caught her eye; she dismissed it and went on, “Some corridors have been partitioned, the doorways altered, and as a result there are staircases, which lead nowhere. Imagine using a staircase that takes you up to a wall; they exist for no reason. Hence, the existential crisis” 

Ritika was rolling her eyes, “That is a gross generalisation. A couple of dead-end stairwells and the whole house is an existential crisis?”  

“We will ask you when you are standing on one,” Aria retorted 

“I will just slide down the banister,” quipped Ritika. 

I wanted to break the great existential debate, necessitated by the fact that the red helmet and white cassock clad principal had just made an appearance. Everyone ran, shoes and shrugs in hand. The seven had broken. That was the thing about the college, everyone, from the guard upwards, had the authority to shoo students away from any part of it; so much so, that there was consensus that the safest place to sit on campus, before 4.30 P.M., was on treetops. Students in their free hours were expected to be in the reading room. However, the air-conditioner there did nothing to increase its attendance, primarily, because of the requisition of silence and actual reading; the room in-charge would come and investigate, if you were not turning the pages of the book open in front of you. We decided that it was safest to sit in our classroom and so we began the long commute to the department on the fourth floor, and don’t be fooled, the four floors of our colonial mansion, could easily accommodate eight of a modern structure.

We reached with half an hour to spare and were splayed on the fourth floor landing, looking like people, who somehow took a detour via Mordor en route. The great advantage of reaching early for classes was that Narayan Da – the kingpin of the department – would be setting up the class projector for the professor, which meant that you would already know the film to be screened, having had the time to sift through books (2006 AD: pre-smart phone days, for middle class students) for information on the film. That’s a lie; students don’t do that, especially students who look like, they have just been rescued from Mordor.

We however, learnt the name of the film – Aawara.

2 comments:

dreamy said...

Haaa. Needed this breath of fresh writing to ruffle bits of nostalgia. Although I would say I am disappointed in myself for having found the existence of this post through FB.
Please do write a post about social media as in 2006 AS
And then promote it through FB :p
(Ps: thanks for writing this)

the girl with a zillion namesakes said...

This I am doing like a series.